Level 5 · Mental Tools
Self Talk That Works
Coach yourself in the moment
The voice in your head coaches you all game. Teach it what to say.
You talk to yourself all game long, whether you notice it or not. Ugh, why did I do that. I am so slow today. Come on, focus. That voice is coaching you every second, and the question is whether it is a good coach or a bad one. Self talk is you choosing what that coach says.
In The Power of Words you learned that your brain is always listening, and that your I am statements build who you are over time. Self talk is the game day version: what you say in the moment, during the play, to help you perform right now.
Two kinds of cues. Instructional cues tell your body what to do: head up, strike through it, low and wide, see the field. They work best for skills that need precision, like a first touch, a pass, or a shot. Motivational cues give you energy: keep going, you've got this, one more, win the ball. They work best when you are tired, behind, or need to push through.
Keep it short. In a game there is no time for a speech. The best cues are one to four words. Practice them in training until they come out on their own.
Talk to yourself like a coach. Try using your own name, or you instead of I. Come on Maya, you have done this a hundred times lands differently than I can do this. That little bit of distance helps you calm down and think clearly, the same way it is easier to give a friend good advice than to give it to yourself.
Catch the bad coach. When the negative voice shows up, and it will, do not argue with it for ten minutes. Notice it, then replace it with your cue. Bad touch, caught, next ball, head up, back in the game.
Build your cue card
- 1
Pick the moment
Choose one moment you want help with: your first touch, a penalty, the last ten minutes.
- 2
Write the cue
One to four words, instructional or motivational, whatever that moment needs.
- 3
Drill it
Say it out loud in training every time that moment comes up.
- 4
Trust it
On game day the cue is already wired in. Say it and play.
Start with one cue. Once it is automatic, add another.
The Science
A review of 32 studies found that planned self talk reliably improves sport performance, and that the type of cue matters. Instructional cues, short reminders like eyes on the ball, helped most with precise skills. Motivational cues, like keep going, helped most with strength and endurance. Other research found that talking to yourself by your own name, or as you instead of I, helps people stay calmer and think more clearly under stress.
The Practice
Speak to yourself the way a great coach would: clear, calm, and always in your corner.
Write one short instructional cue for your main skill and one motivational line for when you are tired. Use both out loud at your next practice.
Write It Out
Write your script
- 01
What does your inner voice usually say right after a mistake?
- 02
Write one instructional cue for your main skill, one to four words.
- 03
Write one motivational line for when you are tired or behind.
- 04
Now write a line to yourself using your own name, the way a great coach would say it.
Your rep
Now put it into practice.
Write it out. Answers save to your private Mind Gym journal.