Making Space for Growth

Do not be surprised when you start asking for growth and suddenly things begin to fall apart. Friendships shift, routines break, situations end. It can feel like everything is going wrong right when you decided to level up. Usually it is the opposite, it is working.

Your nervous system can only hold and maintain a certain amount. So when you start to change and grow, some things have to end or fall away to create the space for the new to come in. What is leaving is often what was tied to the old version of you, the one you are outgrowing on purpose.

Remember growing pains? Your legs ached at night when you were a kid, and nothing was actually wrong with you. That is what everyone called it: the ache that comes with getting bigger. Growing on the inside works the same way. As you grow, there will be some pain. The ache of a friendship that no longer fits. The discomfort of holding a new standard. The lonely stretch between who you were and who you are becoming.

That pain is not a sign you are doing it wrong. Most people feel it and turn back, because they think the hurt means stop. It usually means you are stretching past the size you used to be. Growth and comfort do not show up at the same time, so if it aches a little, you are probably right on track.

Here is what most people miss: the opportunity you want is often already there, waiting, but you have not created the mental and physical space to actually receive it. Your hands are still full. Growth is partly the work of setting things down so there is room for what you are calling in.

This does not mean you sit back with your hands folded and wait. You keep putting in the work and taking action toward what you want. You just also stay awake to what is ending, trust it, and know when it is time to let go and jump.