Mind Gym
Making Space for Growth
Why things fall apart right as you grow
When you ask for change, expect some things to end.
Do not be surprised when you start asking for growth and suddenly things begin to fall apart. Friendships shift, routines break, situations end. It can feel like everything is going wrong right when you decided to level up. Usually it is the opposite, it is working.
Your nervous system can only hold and maintain a certain amount. So when you start to change and grow, some things have to end or fall away to create the space for the new to come in. What is leaving is often what was tied to the old version of you, the one you are outgrowing on purpose.
Here is what most people miss: the opportunity you want is often already there, waiting, but you have not created the mental and physical space to actually receive it. Your hands are still full. Growth is partly the work of setting things down so there is room for what you are calling in.
This does not mean you sit back with your hands folded and wait. You keep putting in the work and taking action toward what you want. You just also stay awake to what is ending, trust it, and know when it is time to let go and jump.
The Science
Your nervous system is built to keep things stable and familiar, and it can only hold so much at once. So when you start to grow and change, the system has to release what no longer fits to make room for the new. Endings during growth are not a sign you are off track, they are often the sign that something is working.
The Practice
You cannot receive the new while you are still gripping the old. Let the space open.
Try It Today
Name one thing you are outgrowing, a habit, a dynamic, a way of thinking. Instead of forcing it to stay, ask what it is making room for.
Make the space
- What in your life feels like it is ending or falling away right now?
- What version of you was that connected to?
- What are you trying to call in, and what would you need to set down to have room for it?